We had 5 showings on our house today! To match that, we are expecting to have five sets of applications submitted on our house for 5 different groups of parties interested in renting the property by the end of tomorrow. This means that we will have renters in and that we will be out by the middle of April at the latest.
In addition, we received our counteroffer on the house we plan to purchase this evening, and we are going out to meet the builder tomorrow to finalize an agreement (it is all dependent on the yard work that we want done, and so we are meeting to figure all of that out). We hope to close sometime between April 1 and April 15th.
What an unbelievable blessing and amazing journey this last year has been, and I am so grateful that we are finally seeing some real progress in our attempts at moving.
Barney and I could only possibly be more excited about all of this if we were not so completely exhausted. We had a lot of major decisions to make today, and we made all of them as a team with rational discussions and honest weighing of each other's opinions. We were able to make compromises and come to agreements on every single issue without any tension or anger sparking between us. I think that may have been the major accomplishment on both of our parts today, and it was all the more amazing because the stress levels have such a potential to act as fuel to start major issues in times like these. The major decisions that we are making are only beginning at this point--now we have to work on actually moving, finding new childcare arrangements, and so much more. My prayer at this point is to continue to be able to work together as partners to come up with mutually agreeable decisions that are in the best interest of our whole family.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Day 83--Words from a World Away
Sleeping is one of my great pleasures in life, but I seem to be unable to do it very well these days. I fall into bed exhausted but cannot quiet my mind enough to fall asleep, and once I wake up in the morning, my mind is immediately racing again, making sleep an elusive creature yet again, even if I don't have to get up yet.
This morning I woke up exhausted and could not go back to sleep. So, I got up, but my crankiness was at a very high level and my tolerance of handling anything from the annoying to the frustrating was at an all time low.
It got to the point where I was avoiding talking to Barney just because I was afraid that if I said anything it would either come out as nasty or would actually be nasty. After lunch I did my best to take a nap--it didn't exactly work, but it helped to ground me enough that I could interact in humane ways again.
When I woke up the kids were still napping, so I used the time to get some work done. While reading for one of my classes, I came across this song written in the early 1300s by a French composer. I find the lyrics to be so beautiful and so transcendent of time. They were a perfect encapsulation of all that I feel about Barney, so I emailed it to him as a dedication of all that I feel about him.
I want to stay faithful, guard your honor,
Seek peace, obey
Fear, serve and honor you,
Until death/
For I love you so much, truly,
that one could sooner dry up
the deep sea
and hold back its waves
than I could constrain myself
from loving you,
without falsehood; for my thoughts
my memories, my pleasures
and my desires are perpetually
of you, whom I cannot leave or even briefly forget.
There is no joy or pleasure
or any other good that one could feel
or imagine which does not seem to me worthless
whenever your sweetness wants to sweeten my bitterness
Therefore I want to praise
and adore and fear you,
suffer everything,
experience everything, endure everything
more than I desire any reward.
I want to stay faithful . . .
You are the true sapphire
that can heal and end all my sufferings,
the emerald which brings rejoicing,
the ruby to brighten and comfort the heart.
Your speech, your looks,
Your bearing, make one flee and hate and detest
all vice and cherish and desire all that is good.
I want to stay faithful. . .
This morning I woke up exhausted and could not go back to sleep. So, I got up, but my crankiness was at a very high level and my tolerance of handling anything from the annoying to the frustrating was at an all time low.
It got to the point where I was avoiding talking to Barney just because I was afraid that if I said anything it would either come out as nasty or would actually be nasty. After lunch I did my best to take a nap--it didn't exactly work, but it helped to ground me enough that I could interact in humane ways again.
When I woke up the kids were still napping, so I used the time to get some work done. While reading for one of my classes, I came across this song written in the early 1300s by a French composer. I find the lyrics to be so beautiful and so transcendent of time. They were a perfect encapsulation of all that I feel about Barney, so I emailed it to him as a dedication of all that I feel about him.
I want to stay faithful, guard your honor,
Seek peace, obey
Fear, serve and honor you,
Until death/
For I love you so much, truly,
that one could sooner dry up
the deep sea
and hold back its waves
than I could constrain myself
from loving you,
without falsehood; for my thoughts
my memories, my pleasures
and my desires are perpetually
of you, whom I cannot leave or even briefly forget.
There is no joy or pleasure
or any other good that one could feel
or imagine which does not seem to me worthless
whenever your sweetness wants to sweeten my bitterness
Therefore I want to praise
and adore and fear you,
suffer everything,
experience everything, endure everything
more than I desire any reward.
I want to stay faithful . . .
You are the true sapphire
that can heal and end all my sufferings,
the emerald which brings rejoicing,
the ruby to brighten and comfort the heart.
Your speech, your looks,
Your bearing, make one flee and hate and detest
all vice and cherish and desire all that is good.
I want to stay faithful. . .
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Day 82--A Fun Family Day
We had two showings again today, which meant we needed to be out of the house for random chunks of the day. We solved the problem by heading over to our sister city to do some furniture shopping for the house. We took the kids over to play with their cousins at Barney's sister's house. They had an absolute blast, and Barney and I spent the morning hitting up all of the good furniture spots in town.
We had absolutely no intention of buying until we have closed on our house, but Barney's sister told us about this store that is located in the warehouse district. They used to only sell to dealers but the economy caused them to open their doors to the public. They only bring in unique pieces--nothing is mass produced, and once they sell something, it is gone and cannot be purchased. The prices were amazing too. So, we found a dining room table and matching chairs and a kitchen table and matching chairs and bench that we loved too much to pass up. We also found (at other stores) the couch, love seat, and chair we want for our living room, but these are from large furniture stores and can be purchased after we close, which we plan to do.
We were up before 7:00 this morning, so when we got home this afternoon, we were hoping for naps, but no such luck because Olivia was totally uninterested in a nap. So, Barney was very sweet and watched her so that I could cat nap for 45 minutes. Then, when George woke up from his nap, Barney and I both sort of simultaneously realized that we are completely worn out. The idea of watching the kids while keeping the house in something like showing condition was overwhelming.
Our solution was to load them in the car with some M&Ms and to head to a nearby theatre to watch Rango. We got a big thing of popcorn, and the kids were just enchanted with the event even though the movie was not that awesome. It was not the same relaxing experience as going to a movie without two toddlers, but it was nice. It was the first time we have taken them to the movies, so that in and of itself also made the event special.
We came home and Barney got right to work on his work stuff for today, and he was in bed before 9:30. I am still working but hoping for an early night as well.
I think I did a much better job today of watching my tone and holding my tongue, though there was one moment of tension while shopping today where I didn't say the right thing and immediately knew it. I was definitely being more deliberate in making sure that my interactions with Barney were positive. Of course, all of the fun activities from today probably helped that along quite a bit as well.
We had absolutely no intention of buying until we have closed on our house, but Barney's sister told us about this store that is located in the warehouse district. They used to only sell to dealers but the economy caused them to open their doors to the public. They only bring in unique pieces--nothing is mass produced, and once they sell something, it is gone and cannot be purchased. The prices were amazing too. So, we found a dining room table and matching chairs and a kitchen table and matching chairs and bench that we loved too much to pass up. We also found (at other stores) the couch, love seat, and chair we want for our living room, but these are from large furniture stores and can be purchased after we close, which we plan to do.
We were up before 7:00 this morning, so when we got home this afternoon, we were hoping for naps, but no such luck because Olivia was totally uninterested in a nap. So, Barney was very sweet and watched her so that I could cat nap for 45 minutes. Then, when George woke up from his nap, Barney and I both sort of simultaneously realized that we are completely worn out. The idea of watching the kids while keeping the house in something like showing condition was overwhelming.
Our solution was to load them in the car with some M&Ms and to head to a nearby theatre to watch Rango. We got a big thing of popcorn, and the kids were just enchanted with the event even though the movie was not that awesome. It was not the same relaxing experience as going to a movie without two toddlers, but it was nice. It was the first time we have taken them to the movies, so that in and of itself also made the event special.
We came home and Barney got right to work on his work stuff for today, and he was in bed before 9:30. I am still working but hoping for an early night as well.
I think I did a much better job today of watching my tone and holding my tongue, though there was one moment of tension while shopping today where I didn't say the right thing and immediately knew it. I was definitely being more deliberate in making sure that my interactions with Barney were positive. Of course, all of the fun activities from today probably helped that along quite a bit as well.
Friday, March 4, 2011
Day 81--A Big Day, Part II
If yesterday was a big day, today just continued with that trend. While we found out that we will not get a counteroffer until at least Monday due to a family death with the builder, things on the leasing end of this project have been hopping. We had three showings today, all of whom expressed strong interest and one of whom has actually submitted applications to lease the house. We have another showing tomorrow morning as well. So, it is looking like we will be able to lease this house sooner rather than later, which is wonderful.
All of the showings meant another day of not getting work done during the day, and it feels like time is a very precious commodity all of a sudden. Things in our world are not going to be normal for months at this point, and we are living from highs to lows and nothing but busyness in between.
So, I shouldn't have been surprised when tension suddenly erupted between Barney and I today, manifesting in a big fight this morning and continuing throughout the day with several smaller fights. During our fights, Barney brought out all of his old arguments against me, namely that I do nothing but yell and boss and nag. I had thought that I have changed quite a bit in that regard over the past three months, so I was extremely hurt by these accusations. My first inclination was to dismiss them out of hat. But, as it has gotten quiet now that everyone but me has drifted to bed, I have to admit that while I am not sure it is as bad as Barney may have presented it to be, I am inarguably distracted by things other than specifically how I interact with my husband these days.
It feels like there just isn't time to stop and consider our interactions, and when I am allowing my mind just to wander, I am much more likely to be mentally decorating my new house, trying to figure out the best way to find the right nanny, or panicking about how much work this move is going to be. In short, I have let my marriage move from being a high priority to a very low priority. It's funny because I definitely would not say that is true about parenting, so why would I think it is okay to put my husband on the back burner? I don't have a good answer for that, but it is a situation that I am make a priority no matter how busy or how much crazier life becomes between now, and I don't know, when our youngest starts college.... (or at least until the end of the summer when we should be able to start getting into a routine in our new house, new school, and with our new baby).
p.s. It's starting to look like our New Orleans trip may have to be cancelled, which is making me very sad :(
All of the showings meant another day of not getting work done during the day, and it feels like time is a very precious commodity all of a sudden. Things in our world are not going to be normal for months at this point, and we are living from highs to lows and nothing but busyness in between.
So, I shouldn't have been surprised when tension suddenly erupted between Barney and I today, manifesting in a big fight this morning and continuing throughout the day with several smaller fights. During our fights, Barney brought out all of his old arguments against me, namely that I do nothing but yell and boss and nag. I had thought that I have changed quite a bit in that regard over the past three months, so I was extremely hurt by these accusations. My first inclination was to dismiss them out of hat. But, as it has gotten quiet now that everyone but me has drifted to bed, I have to admit that while I am not sure it is as bad as Barney may have presented it to be, I am inarguably distracted by things other than specifically how I interact with my husband these days.
It feels like there just isn't time to stop and consider our interactions, and when I am allowing my mind just to wander, I am much more likely to be mentally decorating my new house, trying to figure out the best way to find the right nanny, or panicking about how much work this move is going to be. In short, I have let my marriage move from being a high priority to a very low priority. It's funny because I definitely would not say that is true about parenting, so why would I think it is okay to put my husband on the back burner? I don't have a good answer for that, but it is a situation that I am make a priority no matter how busy or how much crazier life becomes between now, and I don't know, when our youngest starts college.... (or at least until the end of the summer when we should be able to start getting into a routine in our new house, new school, and with our new baby).
p.s. It's starting to look like our New Orleans trip may have to be cancelled, which is making me very sad :(
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Day 80--What a Big Day
Today has been such a whirlwind of a day that I haven't even really been able to process it. It started off last night really because I was so busy decorating and filling our new house in my imagination that I got less than three hours of total sleep last night. Nevertheless, I woke up easily this morning and ready to go see the house again. We actually were so eager that we got there half an hour early, which is pretty rare for us to do in the mornings.
We met our wonderful realtor and our parents out at the house at 9:00, and we spent the next couple of hours there. We both felt very sure once we were in the house that it is very much the house of our dreams. Mom and I quickly passed the time taking measurements and mentally arranged furniture throughout the house while Dad and Barney worked on yard ideas. We also met the next door neighbor, who has kids the same age as ours, which is awesome.
After we left, our realtor put in our offer, and we hope to get the counteroffer sometime tomorrow. We also had a showing today and have another scheduled for tomorrow. Since we could not hang out at the house, we went furniture shopping (not to buy--just to look). It was very fun for both of us. But, it meant that we did not start working today until 5:00pm. I have spent the last six hours trying to catch up on work, and at this point, I am totally spent.
I did manage to surprise Barney this morning with a coke and his favorite (and very hard to find) candy bar--Peanut Butter Twix bars that my mom spied when we went to the convenience store by the house for a quick second. He was ready for the caffeine at that point and quickly ate his chocolate treat up.
In addition, Marshall found out today that he got his first choice of a tenure track position at a really great school. It is several states away, but we could not be happier for his family. I also got some good news about a possible additional income opportunity that made me feel better about putting an offer on the house when we haven't leased ours yet.
Days like today don't happen often, so I hope that I am not too exhausted tonight to take some time and really cherish what a special day it was.
We met our wonderful realtor and our parents out at the house at 9:00, and we spent the next couple of hours there. We both felt very sure once we were in the house that it is very much the house of our dreams. Mom and I quickly passed the time taking measurements and mentally arranged furniture throughout the house while Dad and Barney worked on yard ideas. We also met the next door neighbor, who has kids the same age as ours, which is awesome.
After we left, our realtor put in our offer, and we hope to get the counteroffer sometime tomorrow. We also had a showing today and have another scheduled for tomorrow. Since we could not hang out at the house, we went furniture shopping (not to buy--just to look). It was very fun for both of us. But, it meant that we did not start working today until 5:00pm. I have spent the last six hours trying to catch up on work, and at this point, I am totally spent.
I did manage to surprise Barney this morning with a coke and his favorite (and very hard to find) candy bar--Peanut Butter Twix bars that my mom spied when we went to the convenience store by the house for a quick second. He was ready for the caffeine at that point and quickly ate his chocolate treat up.
In addition, Marshall found out today that he got his first choice of a tenure track position at a really great school. It is several states away, but we could not be happier for his family. I also got some good news about a possible additional income opportunity that made me feel better about putting an offer on the house when we haven't leased ours yet.
Days like today don't happen often, so I hope that I am not too exhausted tonight to take some time and really cherish what a special day it was.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Day 79--House No Longer for Sale
Well, we are no closer to finding new occupants for our house than we have ever been, but we did make a big decision today. We took our house off of the for sale market. It is now only available for lease, and tomorrow we are going to go look at the house we want to buy in our new city. We visited in a few weeks ago, and we fell in love with it. So, we are going to make sure that it is in fact the exact home that we want to own. If it is, then we plan to make an offer tomorrow and ask for a closing day of May 1, which is exactly one day before I turn 30 and one month before Jefferson is due.
That gives us two months to get this house leased, which is definitely a risk. I am not as excited about making an offer as I would be if the future of the house we currently live in were certain. But, at least for now, I feel peace with our decision.
Today we both a hard time coming to terms with the fact that we have now had three possible buyers/renters who seemed like very strong prospects becoming the future occupants of this house and none of them came through. We ended up picking the kids up early from school and going for a long walk to take our minds off of things, and it worked. The kids are at such fun ages right now that it is hard to feel mopey around them. Then, when we came home, I made Barney a hamburger and French fries, which is not a normal meal on our rotation, so he was pumped. Then, tonight we are going to cuddle on the couch and watch a movie. I cannot give him what he wants most, which is a reliable renter, so I am making due with the small offerings that I can provide to make his day brighter despite the non-stop issue hanging over our heads.
That gives us two months to get this house leased, which is definitely a risk. I am not as excited about making an offer as I would be if the future of the house we currently live in were certain. But, at least for now, I feel peace with our decision.
Today we both a hard time coming to terms with the fact that we have now had three possible buyers/renters who seemed like very strong prospects becoming the future occupants of this house and none of them came through. We ended up picking the kids up early from school and going for a long walk to take our minds off of things, and it worked. The kids are at such fun ages right now that it is hard to feel mopey around them. Then, when we came home, I made Barney a hamburger and French fries, which is not a normal meal on our rotation, so he was pumped. Then, tonight we are going to cuddle on the couch and watch a movie. I cannot give him what he wants most, which is a reliable renter, so I am making due with the small offerings that I can provide to make his day brighter despite the non-stop issue hanging over our heads.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Day 78--The Pessimism Won
Remember a few posts back when I said that we should be getting feedback and offers today or tomorrow? Well, we got two offers today, which sounds like it should be great. The problem is that both offers were really bad offers. Really bad.
Barney had a big soccer match that he wanted to watch today, and he talked to a bar close to our house who said they would have the game on (it was not on a channel that we get). So, he wanted to go there for lunch and to watch the game, and he wanted me to keep him company. I really didn't want to go, but he was so excited, so I said yes.
While I was getting ready, our realtor called and said that the offer to buy the house had come in but that it was very low. She told us the offer and then asked us to meet her at her office two hours later to discuss it. We were very disheartened, but we agreed. We got to the bar, but within five minutes, we got a call for a showing one hour later. So, we had to immediately leave to go back to the house and get it ready for the showing.
We went back and watched the game for an hour and then went to the realtor's office, where we made a counteroffer we were pretty sure would not fly. They re-countered another very low offer, and we did not re-counter from there. They are thinking it over tonight, but it's less than a 5% chance that deal will go through.
In the meantime, the people who came to see it today loved the house and want to rent it. Unfortunately, they only want to rent it if we will come down $500 per month, which is also ridiculous. They offered free golf lessons in return. No thanks.
The other people who had been very interested in leasing just never replied back when they said they would, so we are all assuming that that one is long dead as well.
Where does that leave us? Back at square one.
Barney had a big soccer match that he wanted to watch today, and he talked to a bar close to our house who said they would have the game on (it was not on a channel that we get). So, he wanted to go there for lunch and to watch the game, and he wanted me to keep him company. I really didn't want to go, but he was so excited, so I said yes.
While I was getting ready, our realtor called and said that the offer to buy the house had come in but that it was very low. She told us the offer and then asked us to meet her at her office two hours later to discuss it. We were very disheartened, but we agreed. We got to the bar, but within five minutes, we got a call for a showing one hour later. So, we had to immediately leave to go back to the house and get it ready for the showing.
We went back and watched the game for an hour and then went to the realtor's office, where we made a counteroffer we were pretty sure would not fly. They re-countered another very low offer, and we did not re-counter from there. They are thinking it over tonight, but it's less than a 5% chance that deal will go through.
In the meantime, the people who came to see it today loved the house and want to rent it. Unfortunately, they only want to rent it if we will come down $500 per month, which is also ridiculous. They offered free golf lessons in return. No thanks.
The other people who had been very interested in leasing just never replied back when they said they would, so we are all assuming that that one is long dead as well.
Where does that leave us? Back at square one.
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