Day 111--He's Injured, Injured Bad

Well, Barney was definitely having a rough time of it for most of today with his foot, and by the time the kids went down for their afternoon nap, he was out for the count too.  The nap seemed to have helped though, and he was in much better shape for most of the rest of the day.  He's already sound asleep, which is a very good thing.  Hopefully he will be in even better shape tomorrow.

It's hard for me when he is hurting and I cannot fix it.  I wish that I could find some magic solution to just make the pain stop, but it rarely seems to work that way.  So, instead, I spent the day trying to do things that he might like, such as putting up his tie racks, belt racks, shoe organizers, etc in his closet and setting up a shelving and organization system in the garage where he can organize all of our sports gear.  I did not attempt to actually put any of his stuff away, because he likes getting to come up with his own organization system, but it's nice to not have to do the grunt work prior to finding the organization system. 

We had a great family dinner tonight with Barney cooking hot dogs and bratwursts on the grill to go with baked beans (microwaved, since that is our only working kitchen appliance), fresh fruit, and Cheetos.   It would have been more fun to eat outside, but the wind has been insane today.  All in all though, I think that everyone had a good day today and that Barney went to bed in much better spirits than yesterday, which is wonderful.  This next week should be interesting since the kids will be home with us all day each day without any help while we are still continuing our full work weeks.  They have really been playing well together of late though, so hopefully that trend continues.  It's also a big goal to get the game room functioning as soon as possible so that they have a clear play of play and access to their toys, which are still in boxes for the most part.

I am continuing in all of this to try to find little ways to show Barney how much I love and appreciate him, like suggesting a stop by McDonald's for a soft serve ice cream cone, being careful to comment on how much he is doing on the house and with the kids, and letting him sleep as much as possible because of his injury.  Hopefully those little things are adding up to make a difference.

Days 109 & 110--So Much Progress, So Little to Show

I feel terrible that I keep missing days of posting, but we are getting up at 7:00am and working until 1:00am without naps or breaks, so it's been a little bit hard to sit down and write.  As we speak, Barney is exhorting me to come to bed, which won't happen for two reasons: 1. I am a bit of a perfectionist and have a hard time stopping when work is not done and 2. I still have work to do.  Of course, I could work straight through the night without making that much of a dent, so the logic is not awesome.  But, I can't help myself.

We are definitely still in the honeymoon phase with our house, which is good because we are starting to notice problems, large and small.  The big problems are as follows: the water line to the fridge does not work, the ovens don't work, and the stove doesn't work.  So, my beautiful kitchen is basically a prop that allows me to do no more than toast bread or microwave food.  Luckily, every one of those things will be covered and fixed at no cost to us by the builder--the question is only how long we will wait.

The other big drama today is that Barney dropped a large table leaf on his barefeet this evening.  One especially is causing a lot of pain, which we can't seem to relieve.  He is hobbling around now, and if it is still bad tomorrow, we will be at the very least calling the doctor.  I read some solutions for easing the pain online, but Barney was wholly uninterested in the suggestions (which call for burning a tiny hole in his nail to drain the blood).  I guess it could force us to slow down, which some might view as ultimately a good thing, but I would not put myself in that camp.  As such, I'm going to be encouraging all ideas for pain relief, and most specifically a doctor's visit.

Day 108--So Much Progress

Today was a day of progress for sure.  We got all of our furniture moved into our house, and we learned that we will be able to close sometime between tomorrow and Tuesday.  Things are moving along quickly!  I didn't get to see much of Barney today really as he spent most of the morning at the old house loading up and then we were both busy with unloading, unpacking, and rearranging this afternoon and tonight.  I can tell that he is so happy right now though, which makes my heart so glad.  Tomorrow is the last day of school for our kids, and we also hand over the keys to our old house (though technically we will still have some since we are still the owners, but you get the gist of what I'm saying).  It will be the real end to our live in our old town and the real beginning to life here.  I am apprehensive (as I am with any change, let's be honest), but mostly I am excited to see what the future holds from here.  One thing I know is that we have enough projects to keep up busy here to last a whole lifetime.  So, on that note, with this short post, I am off to bed. :)

Days 106 & 107--First Night in the New House

Nothing today went as planned--which is a big shocker of course.  The movers were only able to move in about half of our stuff, and then they had another job, which meant that we had to return the truck and rent it again tomorrow and hire more movers for tomorrow.  It is all just money out of the bank, BUT we are in our new house, and the kids are in the new house, and they seem to love it.  Even the cat seems pretty content with his new digs.

Today was nothing short of exhausting, though thank goodness my mother was here to help me out for most of the afternoon and then pretty late into the evening.  She has agreed to come again tomorrow, which is a huge relief for me and my dad may even come up on Friday.  All good news.

Barney had an unshakable optimism today which I very much appreciated even as I was unable to emulate it myself.  He is already in bed and hopefully asleep as we have another super long day tomorrow.  Seeing him so happy has been the best part of this move so far, and I hope that he will be able to retain that sense of joy for a while.  Joy seems to be so much more elusive as an adult than it was as a child, so when we feel it, it is definitely worth trying to hang onto.

Day 105--Aftermath of the Aftermath of the Fight

The fight itself was not really a big deal in terms of big picture things--it was a squabble indistinguishable from countless squabbles that we have had in the past, but the aftermath has been epic.  I thought for sure things would be fine in the morning, and in large part, they were moving that way.  I let Barney sleep as late as he wanted, preparing the kids for school and getting ready to take them myself (usually Barney does the morning run).  But, the kids were very unsettled at the change of routine, and Barney picked up on it and decided to come with us at the last minute.  Still, things were going okay, but then at almost noon, we had our newest crisis hit our move.

We got an amended contract from the builder that we thought was saying that he would not fix the items found in the inspection if we moved in early and that would force us to cough up a large deposit more quickly than we anticipated having to do if we could not close on time.  Since our lender seems to be in no hurry whatsoever, we were pretty panicked.  While our realtor worked on talking to the builder, we spent several hours working on even more paperwork for the lender.  We both missed out on important work time, and we skipped lunch altogether.

We think that we have it all resolved now, as we have learned that the builder was not referencing inspection items but some item about a tardy survey clause.  And, he has verbally agreed to postpone the final date though we haven't seen it in writing.  Our lender was also cautiously optimistic about closing very soon.  We shall see.

But, the bottom line is that the pressure mounted in a big way today, and so instead of mending our fight, it seemed to only make things worse.  I tried to just be patient with Barney lashing out at me, knowing that he felt I was doing the same, even if I didn't ever intend to or feel like I was.  Finally though, things came to a head and we ended up having to have a "talk."  These are so painful in our house because Barney hates them so much.  And, this instance was no different.

I think...at least I hope....that ultimately the air cleared some, and we were both able to recognize that in order to survive this week, we have to work as a team.  While I am not heading to bed feeling good about where I am in terms of packing, I do at least feel better about how things will be for Barney and I tomorrow.

Day 104--Aftermath of a Fight

It's not easy for the kids to be at the house right now because it is just a mass of boxes with almost no toys left out and little room to run around and play.  And, today it was cold (ish) and wet outside, leaving us all cramped inside.  While this was good in the sense that I had seven loads of laundry and a TON of work to do for school (not to mention the fact that we have very little time left to finish packing), it meant for fussy children and short fuses for the parents.

So, the surprise really is less that we had a pretty big fight and more that we didn't have it until around 6:00pm.  The basic gist of the fight was that Barney blamed me for Olivia falling down some stairs and hitting her head (she's just fine), and I thought it was his fault.  My fighting technique is to get hopping mad in the moment and then be totally over it within a few minutes.  Barney is just the opposite.  He stays calm in the moment but then holds a grudge for hours and hours.  He has essentially refused to be in the same room with me or to talk to me since the fight.  I am not mad anymore, and I am not panicked about the fight either (which is exactly how I would have felt at certain points in the marriage).  While I still feel like it was not my fault that she fell, it doesn't seem worth the energy to fight about it.  So, after the kids went to bed, I went into the room where Barney is hiding out and apologized, simply saying that I was sorry for lashing out at him and that my behavior was inappropriate.  He did not respond, nor has he talked to me since. 

Nevertheless, I think that things will be okay tomorrow, and I believe that my apology did help, even if I can't tell yet.  Fighting seems to be a pretty inevitable part of marriage, and I feel good about this one in the sense that I handled it the best way I could afterwards, even if I did overreact just a bit in the heat of the moment.  It's progress at least.

Days 102 & 103--Melon Smashing

Yesterday my mother very sweetly took my kids for the night so that Barney and I could have a night out on the town to celebrate his successful completion of his MBA.  It wasn't our best day by any stretch because of continued woes with our lender and general anxiety as to where we are going to go once we our renters move into our house this week.  But, we decided to make the best of it, so we headed to a favorite steak house from college for dinner.  Then, we headed to a good friend's favorite location in a nearby city where people can sit outside and watch the planes coming and going from the major airport in our area.  We had never been there before, and it is a great place to get some perspective.  I've been struggling of late to be still.  I have a hard enough time sitting still, but stilling my mind is almost impossible.  I found that Founder's Plaza calmed me, maybe because of the general loudness of the planes as they landed and took off.  Then, we went for the opposite effect entirely by going to a remote area by a local river.  I had purchased a metal bat and six melons of different kinds and shapes.  We wrote down all of the things that have been frustrating us of late on the melons and then took turns demolishing them, either by throwing them, hitting them, or just bashing them with the baseball bat.  It was a great way to get our pent frustrations without actually hitting anyone.  Then, we got to get some really good sleep and even slept in.

Today we were very excited to learn that the builder is going to lease us the house starting on the day that we have to move out on a day to day basis, allowing us to pay by the day until we can close.  We also started a loan process with a second bank as a backup in case our current lenders are unable to get their act together any better.

Both of us feel a strong sense of peace and a renewed enery regarding our move.  While closing on time would have been the best option, being able to move in on time makes a huge difference, and we are really grateful. We spent our day working and packing, but it was a good day because we can be excited about moving again instead of apprehensive. 

We finished our day by meeting my mom and the kids for dinner about halfway between our house and theirs for hamburgers and corndogs.  While it was clear that the kids had a great time, they were also happy to see us and in a very good mood, which only added to our good mood.

Barney is now watching soccer, and I think that I am going to read a book.  What a treat :)