Trying, Always Trying

Today was a rough day. It seems like every day where I let you sleep in turns out to be rough, though I wasn't particularly tired today, and you were more grouchy than normal--at least that's how it seemed to me.

The gesture that our sweet friend made yesterday to come watch the older kids so we could have a date fell flat. I know you said it was because you are stressed about the projects you are working on to grow your business, and I understand, but I was still disappointed I have to admit.

The good thing that came from it is that I feel like we had our most honest talk about our relationship in months. I may have spent more time today in tears than either of us would have liked, but I feel like something opened back up between us that has been missing for a while.

You probably don't believe me that I listened and took to heart when you told me that I am not open to constructive criticism. I am going to work on that. I will also work on trying not to feel like you are being sarcastic or mean if you say something nice but to take it at face value.

I hope you will try to work on being more proactive about checking in with me before disappearing to work on the yard for hours and on trying to make more of am effort to spend quality time with me.

I know you are not a fan of these kinds of hard relationship conversations. Thanks for taking it seriously tonight. I only ever do it so that we can continue to have a strong marriage and bond. I don't want to let this slip away out of negligence or because we simply stopped paying attention. I love you too much for that.