I knew I stayed up way too late last night working on this blog because as soon as I finished and walked into the bathroom, I knocked over and broke a decorative vase, waking up Barney and scaring him half to death. But, I was feeling pretty confident about my project, enough so that I confided in two people, sharing the link to this blog with them.
When I woke up this morning though, I had immediate doubts--my idea was dumb, my confidants were going to laugh at me, and Barney was going to find my planned daily gesture to be trivial at best. However, as I got up and began working around the house, I screwed my courage to the wall (I just love that phrase) and decided to stick with my original plan.
My plan was to send the above e-card (there's a five year age span between the two of us) with a note telling B just how proud I am of him and how much I love him. Barney's company is having a very good month (he's a small business owner). In addition, he's working on his MBA (for which I am very proud), and his current class has proven to be more challenging than expected. Needless to say he's a busy guy right now. I wanted to give him a pat on the back to let him know I notice how much he's doing and how well it's going.
So, while he was on one of his many work calls for the day, I took the opportunity to write and send my card. When Barney checked that email account a while later, he was visibly touched, which honestly surprised me. My dad told once me that one of the best things I could do for my husband would be to take the time to consciously praise him for the things he is getting right. Obviously, it's good advice and something I need to try more often.
A while later, I noticed that Barney was getting pretty discouraged by an assignment for class, so I offered to go with him to try out happy hour at a new Mexican place by our house. We got there only to discover that happy hour would not start for a while, and while we didn't want to splurge for a $9.50 margarita, we stayed and had some good food. On the way out, he took my hand and then continued holding it in the car. While this is not unheard of by any means, it is not necessarily standard operating procedure these days either. I felt like there was a strong possibility that it was in some way a reaction to my behavior modifications of the last few days.
Though I'm only three days into this, I feel like both our attitudes have changed in small but significant ways. When Barney was on a lengthy call tonight at the same time that I was trying to make multiple loaves of zucchini bread, I got frustrated, but my urge to take out that frustration on him or to yell at him was much less than it would normally be. Ultimately, I never even mentioned it to him. Then, when I was heading out to the store to get a missing ingredient, he insisted on going for me so I could stay and finish up in the kitchen.
At this point, I am more and more excited to see how this will all pan out. With that in mind, I have already put into place my gesture for tomorrow. I've also come up with a mental list of possible future ideas and one additional rule:
4. The budget for this project for the year is $300, which breaks down to $25 per month or less than a dollar per day. The budget can be spent at any point in whatever way is deemed best, but if I reach the maximum limit and the year has not ended, then all future days will have to require acts that do not include any outside cost.
I decided to set this rule because some of my ideas will likely involve spending some money, which I didn't want to see get out of hand. However, my sort of secret goal is to not spend anywhere near my available limit.
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