Today was a madhouse day. We had early church this at the church where I grew up followed by lunch at my dad's restaurant. My grandparents also were in town for the day, and after the kids' afternoon nap time we had our family Christmas. It was a great (if not exhausting) day all around, but days like this are more difficult for me in terms of this project so far. Part of this is because there is already so much going on that is designed to be special, and part of this is because it is so far outside of our routine that it is hard to make a plan in advance.
The idea that I came up with last night was to make this a diaper and potty-time free day for Barney, and I almost succeeded. I got up this morning with Olivia even though that it was not technically my day so that I would have the first diaper of the day. When George got up, I made sure to take care of the morning potty routine. I changed the dirty diaper at the restaurant and handled the after-nap diaper and potty disaster for both kids.
Tonight though after the gifts were opened and while people we unwinding, apparently George had a bathroom issue that I knew nothing about that Barney handled. I am sad not to have reached my goal for the day, though my intentions never faltered.
This goal was the first goal where even if I had succeeded, Barney was highly unlikely to ever notice, in part because today was so crazy. But, I also think that we don't notice the diapers that we don't change--we only remember the ones that we do change. Thinking about that made me realize that happiness does not just come from the things that we get but also from the things that we are able to avoid, even if we are never aware that we have avoided them. That concept has opened me up to a whole new way of thinking about ideas for how to show kindness to my husband each day. Does that mean that I am armed with a great idea for tomorrow? Nope. Not even a mediocre idea come to that, but it does offer a new layer of opportunities that I can take advantage of in the future.
The more I pay attention, the more opportunities that I am seeing where I can improve as a wife and a partner. Part of this makes me really happy because I am learning how to be better, and part of it makes me sad to realize how many opportunities I have missed out on in the past that could have made my husband's day brighter. Barney is undoubtedly my life partner and the absolute love of my life; may that the seven years of marriage that we have under our belt now be just the tip of the iceberg. I pray that I will be able to one day look back at this year as the year that really marked an important period of growth and renewal in our relationship.
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