Day 52--A Somehow Unsettled Feeling

I decided to pull out the big guns today and offer up a gift that I don't give lightly--I got up for Barney on my day to sleep in, and I did this with the full desire to continue sleeping (something that I haven't felt much of for the last week).  George was up and wanting cinnamon toast (the square kind Mommy, not the round kind).  So, we gathered up Olivia, put socks on and headed downstairs to make breakfast.  I have to note here that I have cooked something like 10 straight homemade meals without a single break for eating out or eating leftovers, which has to far exceed my record of anything like this in the past.

I was very surprised when Barney came downstairs less than half an hour later, really not capitalizing on his time to sleep in.  He never commented on my early treat, and when I said something about it at dinner, he scoffed saying that since the kids slept in later than usual (to 8:00am) it didn't count for anything, especially since he was up so soon afterwards.  I immediately let the matter drop because things have been slightly strange between us all day.

I honestly cannot exactly explain what I mean nor can I account for it.  I have one untested and definitely unexplored theory related to our finances, but it seems tenuous at best to even assume that is what is going on.  Our life has been far from normal for weeks now, so that makes it harder to explain too.  The best that I could do would be to say that something in his manner or attitude seemed slightly off all day long, though only in his interactions with me and definitely not in his interactions with the children.

It's not that he is yelling at me or criticizing me or ignoring me, but it is like he is just one step away from one or all of those things at any given interaction with me.  My tentative attempts at trying to figure out what is going on have been quickly rebuffed, so I am not sure how best to proceed tomorrow.  The one thing I do know for sure is that he isn't really happy right now, but I'm not sure why or how to fix it.

The kids will be home again tomorrow as school has been cancelled yet again, leaving both of us to be very far behind in work and very short in time for anything other than childcare or work, which of course is not optimal anyway.  I retire to bed tonight with no sure plan of action for tomorrow, but I know that my goal is absolutely to bring back the harmonious co-existence that Barney and I have been largely enjoying over these past couple of months.