The last two days have absolutely flown by in a stream of constant happenings. Honestly, two days ago seems like a hundred years ago, and it took me a good five minutes to be able to work that far backwards. Remember how Barney's sister came and stayed with us Tuesday night? Well, yesterday afternoon Marshall's wife called to double check that Marshall had let us know that he was coming to stay with us last night before another early morning airport run. I definitely was not aware of this, though I am not entirely sure if it was Marshall or Barney who failed to mention this to me. Regardless, that meant a long (really fun) night of board games--hence my lack of post last night.
In the meantime we also got a call yesterday that the couple who we thought was going to for sure make an offer on our house a while back wanted to have their god parents come see it this evening from 5:30 to 6:30 for a third showing. Apparently, they had found some other houses that they liked better but ultimately were unable to afford, so now they have moved back to wanting our house. In the meantime, we have been moving forward on putting our house up for lease in addition to being up for sale. It went on the market for lease today.
So, when we found out about the showing, we called the ladies who sometimes clean our house and scheduled a cleaning for this afternoon from 3:00-5:00. That meant we didn't need to clean, though we still had to make sure everything was straightened and all clutter/mess was dealt with. It was a short night for all, but I had a plan for exactly how to fit in everything I needed to do today.
While Barney was showering this morning, his phone rang, and it was CSS. I picked it up, and they wanted to schedule a showing for today between 1:30 & 2:30. It meant that we had to clean up everything anyway, be out of the house much earlier than planned, and we were not going to be able to cancel with the ladies, so we would have essentially two cleanings for the day.
Suddenly, everything was a whirlwind. The people came early and stayed very briefly in the house, so we felt very sure that there was no interest whatsoever on their part. Imagine my surprise then when our realtor called tonight with two pieces of news:
1. The first couple plan to for sure make an offer on Wednesday, when they get back from their honeymoon
2. The early showing today was a couple who want to lease our house
After being faced with zero choices for a year, it now appears that we may have two choices to choose from. I have been ecstatic all evening (or as ecstatic as you can be while also being completely exhausted), but now I am somewhat nervous because I am a pessimist and what if both fall through?
So that is the update on our life, but the update on my project is this: I am a take-charge woman. I have ideas, and I want to implement them and move forward. It would be easy for me to either only pay lip-service to listening to Barney or to just run right over him in my attempts to make things happen (in regards to the decision on our house) the "best" way--i.e. my way.
Instead, I am trying to take a more supportive role in this whole transaction. While I am certainly voicing my opinions, I am not trying to make my opinion the only opinion, and I have deferred to him on many aspects of this whole adventure. It's funny how much justification I want to add to this paragraph. I want to both justify my decision to step back so as not to appear weak or anti-equality of the sexes, and I want to justify not just backing off altogether and letting the man make the heavy-weight financial decisions.
But, mostly, I feel a strong need to make clear that I am not being steamrolled by my husband or turning into a doormat. It feels almost shameful somehow to me to play a subservient role, even knowing what the Bible says and knowing that I should not feel that way. Many Southern, Christian women would probably never admit to feeling that way, even if they do. I don't see myself as less than my husband's equal as a partner or as a person. However, it's like I told my husband today when he was trying to coach me on shoe-wear for Olivia: within our marriage, we have realms of expertise. Women's shoes clearly fall into my realm of expertise. I appreciate that he has an opinion on her shoes, but ultimately, I am the expert, and unless my decisions regarding her shoe-wear is going to affect our family in some substantive way, then my opinion is the one that matters most. It doesn't mean that I am not going to weigh his opinion into my decisions regarding her shoes though.
Finances are Barney's realm of expertise. We have equal roles in the managing of our finances, but the long-term planning of our finances are always something that I have entrusted to him and that he has done very well at. Making major decisions about the financial side of buying and selling (or leasing) of houses also falls more into his area of expertise. I have an opinion, and I am sharing it. But, I recognize that in this area he has more of a substantial vote than I do because of his greater share of expertise.
When it comes to choosing and furnishing our new home, you better believe that I get (at least!) a 50% say on that though :)
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