Before I ever fell asleep last night, I began to realize that the ideas that I had just posted about had some serious flaws. For example, I was advocating to myself a concept of idleness as God's intention for my life. My idea was that I should not seek out a way to find relief or a cure for Barney because that was me trying to control the situation. But, in actuality, this would mean that God was directing me to just sit back and wait for Him to bring us a cure, or not, as is His will.
My idea stemmed from this concept in my head that since the doctor's visit does not appear to have been successful, I was not doing God's will. I had this idea that if I could just figure out what God wanted me to do, I would see a better result. Ergo, if you do what God wants, he will reward you with whatever you are wanting, but if you don't follow His will, then you will not receive what you are seeking. Then, on top of this, I had myself convinced that the key was to just stop doing anything and to let God take care of it for me.
The problems here are numerous. First, nowhere that I know of in the Bible is idleness encouraged. Secondly, I am not sure why God would not want us to seek out help for loved ones who are suffering; indeed, the Bible is filled with stories of people doing just that and being rewarded. Third, of course there is no promise to Christ-followers that we will get whatever we want on Earth as long as we follow God's will. In fact, in Gethsemane Christ specifically asked for a different outcome than the one that ultimately came into being, despite the fact that He was clearly following God's will.
I do also think that I had some core concepts right in my post. I believe that I need to learn to seek out and trust in God's will for my life and the path that He set forth for my family. I just can't let myself think that whenever things don't go my way it is automatically a sign that I've strayed from that path or that the best way to stay on his path is by remaining idle in the same place and not endeavoring to move forward on that path.
So much of what I post about on here these days has to do with things that I am very much trying to understand and comprehend and not things that I already have a good grasp on, so I apologize for how much of it must seem like total gibberish. But, the writing on this blog has allowed me to grow so much as a wife, a person, and a Christian, and I am really grateful to be having this experience.
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